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| ive been having those down-in-the-dump blues lately, especially today. i told God today that im really lost in every direction i go and that i needed gps to find my way through. but he told me that i didnt need it, that i have Him. and i believed Him. but for some reason, i feel as if half of my heart doesnt. i feel as if im only loving Him half-heartedly, believing Him half-heartedly, and trusting Him half-heartedly. ive been having such a hard time lately that i feel like im gunna be stuck in this rut for a while. i feel empty and incomplete, like if theres something missing in my life. its a terrible feeling. ive also been extra sensative to everything. if someone were to say something to me unsupportive or just hurtful, i'd feel like crying. usually, i dont give a crap about these things. i'd brush it off and move on. but not lately. ive been feeling really down in the dumps lately. ive been feeling tightness in my chest and trouble breathing at times. but those are all things ive experienced before. so its nothing new to me. but its still not a good feeling to have that feeling on your chest. ive had trouble sleeping peacefully. my cousin thought i got a sunglasses tan because of my baggy eyes.
but God has also been speaking to me through people. i was finally able to open my email to a document that was sent to me last week. i read it today and i knew that msg was for me. Jeremiah 1:5, Jeremiah 29:11-14, Proverbs 3, Phil 4:6-7. i know God has been speaking to me a lot today. not only through that msg but through ppl ive talked to today whom i dont talk to on a normal basis. i knew the things they told me, was what God wanted to tell me. and as it is mentioned in Jeremiah 1:5, it was by purpose and not by accident.
Lord, I'm lost. Please help me find my way through.
please also pray that i stop feeling tightness in my chest. in other words, anxiety attacks. thank you.
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| "I've got it man, for reals. Just come and chill with Me." - I mean sometimes, it's hard to believe that He's got everything under control, that all I've gotta do is surrender everything I've got, such a simple task, you'd think. give the creator of the heavens and earth your worries and woes, anxious thoughts and anticipations, bitterness and love relations, and He'll take care of it all...and all I've gotta do is spend my time with Him, cause thats what He truly desires: to know me and share that intimate relationship with me, and to think how easy it is to screw up constantly.
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| what would our world be like without green? take a look outside and appreciate all the magical beauty of nature and how many simple things life has to offer. green. what would our world be like with no trees and grass? i thought this was incredibly precious =) (http://www.naturalgreendiamond.com/) ignore the last sentence haha. i know God created green for a reason. thank you Jesus =) http://www.naturalgreendiamond.com/ | | |
| when i see people truly being challenged by the Lord, it truly makes me happy like no other. when i see people start to not only know God, but truly believe in Him, it puts definite joy into my heart. even when i see people thanking Him for the littlest things it makes me incredibly happy. it makes me happy just to see people step up and truly try to get to know the Lord. it makes me think how incredibly God uses one of us, for the littlest things. not all of us may be able to show how wonderful our God is to everyone - because sometimes ppl just dont listen, but let us plant that seed to whomever we may share to gospel with. let us plant that seed and then let someone else water it have it grow into something truly beautiful. not all of us are able to get the msg across sometimes, so let some of us plant the seed and let others water the seed, and vice versa as well. we may be planting some seeds, but we are also going to be watering some other seeds as well. all in all, we are going to put that shining light into ppls hearts. :)
youtube nick vujicic. he has no arms or legs but never gives up and is glorifying God through his life testimonial. please go watch it if you have time :) its very inspiring! please please watch it! :) thank you very much!
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| i took a pilates class for 6 weeks during winter intersession back in mid January to late February. after the first week, it made me incredibly sore that i just wanted to knockout by the time i got home. however, after the first week, i did see immediate results so i was pleasantly happy. i think it was towards the middle of those 6 weeks, like the 3rd week, that i saw my thighs and kneecaps get incredibly smaller. i didnt notice it until i trying on one of my bubble dresses. i kept looking at my thighs and kneecaps in the mirror thinking, "did it really get smaller?? or am i just imagining things??" because i thought it wasnt possible since i didnt feel much while we were doing our daily stretches. of course, i was incredibly content about my toned legs and couldnt wait to bust out those summer dresses and everything!
now that those 6 weeks are over, im back to my regular spring semester schedule, which started about a month ago. i still taking pilates during this semester but now that were in the semester schedule, we only have class 2 times a week :( whereas during the winter, it was MTWTH so i got to workout 4x a week and see immediate results. i noticed yesterday and today that my legs are no longer toned anymore, and that all that i've worked in those 6 weeks is completely gone. and damn i was preparing for my summer body! even though im still taking pilates right now, it doesnt give much results since its only 2x a week and we go at a much slower pace due to the semester system.
my teacher mainly focuses on the core of our body because i guess thats what everyone mainly wants to work on - their stomach, to get that flat belly in for summer time. she focuses so much on our core that i feel she forgets about our legs. my main goal is to get toned legs before summer comes and when summer comes, i want it to stay. so i figured if i want toned legs faster, then im gunna have to do some work myself and not just rely on this class. my teacher said we can also go to the other days of the class for free which is TTh but its 7:15am. and i would go on TTh but it interfers with my 8:30am class. and not to mention, i dont really wanna get up at 6 to go workout. so i figured im gunna do some work on my legs on my own time if i wants results. the thing is, i dont really care about my stomach because i dont have much there. all the fat goes into my legs -_- which to me, i think makes it look unproportional to my upper body. i know this is very unnoticeable to other ppl and when i tell them this, they think im exaggerating or im thinking too much. but im not! its true. i guess im just lucky i look proportional.
i actually couldnt remember what kind of workouts we did to make our legs smaller so i decided to youtube some workouts for my legs. and im just hoping i will be able to put in the motivation to workout on my legs as much as possible if i want it to look smaller. i just hope i dont get lazy, thats all. i know if i want something bad enough, i will work to the ends of this earth for it. i know i will. its only if i dont care about it or if i dont think i cant do it, then thats what stops me from achieving my goal.
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